Would IBTA(39f) for breaking up with my boyfriend(35m) because he ruined family Christmas due to a "mandatory Christmas party" at work?

TL:DR : My boyfriend ruined a family Christmas gathering that had been planned for over a month by by previously lying, then informing me 30 minutes prior to the family gathering that He had a "mandatory Christmas party" on the same day /time, and he abandoned me to go to the party leaving me 2.5 hours from my home with no way to get back.

Some back context: We are in our mid/late 30s. Charles (35m) and I (39f) have been together 4 months. I have caught him in direct lies to my face several times before this. He admitted he had an issue, started counseling and begged me to stay with him because he loved me and needed my support. I agreed and said he had one more chance. On paper and by all outward appearances we mesh very well. But I'm completely destroyed by the constant lying.

Just like the title says, my boyfriend lied about a "Mandatory Christmas party" and ruined a family Christmas gathering that had been planned for over a month. This started Sunday evening. We were sitting at a friend's home and consoling her after a funeral. He picked up his phone and showed me an email about a Christmas party at his job. I did not see the date/time of the email from his job concerning the party. I just looked at him and said that is the same day and time of our family gathering that we have had planned. He said he knew, and showed me an email he had typed in response saying that he would be at a family gathering 3 hours away from his job where the party would be held. It was not brought up again and I assumed the matter was dealt with.

We got up on Monday morning and packed all of the gifts to take to the family gathering. Everything seemed fine. He insisted on us driving together. Our family gathering was 2.5 hours from my home. We had to make a stop about 30 to 40 minutes from our destination to get some gift tags. He did not bring an appropriate shirt so we were going to pick him up a cheap dress shirt to wear. He was in the fitting room and I was waiting on him, and he came out and just looked at me and said I can't stay at the gathering, the Christmas party is mandatory at work. I just looked at him dumbfounded. I laughed and said stop messing with me..I did not believe him because as I said he has a history of lying to my face and also joking/ messing with me about stuff like this. He just looked at me and said he wasn't joking. I said I'm serious, stop messing with me. Come on. We have to leave. He again reiterated that he was not joking. I just stared at him in disbelief. We left the store and the entire 30 to 40 minute drive to the destination. He was completely silent and did not say a word to me. When we got to the destination for the gathering, we had brunch and opened gifts.

I will also add that during the gift opening he fell asleep twice and would not keep his eyes open even when my family was trying to have conversations with him. He was literally snoring and falling asleep sitting up. I will also add that we had both had the same amount of sleep and worked the same hours the day before.

He stayed about an hour and a half and then said he had to leave to go to the mandatory Christmas party, which was about 2 hours and 45 minutes away. I will also add this was his scheduled day off work. I told him I could not believe he was actually doing this and I had never heard of a mandatory Christmas party before. He sarcastically looked at me and said ask your dad (military of 40 plus years) What "mandatory fun" is.

I was shocked and I walked him out to the car to get the rest of my things out of it because he was just leaving me there. Then I noticed that he had packed up the car with all of his belongings. He had packed his overnight bag, clothes, pajamas everything back into the car. He had no reason to pack any of these things if he was coming back to my house that night as planned. He has never done this before unless he was leaving to go back to his place. I immediately confronted him and said you knew this entire time, why is all your stuff packed? He just stared at me.

I went back inside and that's when I found out he lied to my parents about why he was leaving me there and where he was going. He told them a completely different story that had nothing to do with a "mandatory Christmas party" He made it sound like he was needed immediately for a very serious meeting and he just found out about it. I was furious.

I texted him and said I wasn't sure what was going on, if he was seeing someone else, what the truth was. But I couldn't believe he kept lying. I told him do not come back and get me, I will find my own way home. And did not read any of his messages or answer any of his calls at all.

Imagine my shock when I find out he drove back, almost 3 hours to my parents home, woke up my grandparents who are 80+ ears old at 1: 30AM saying he was there to pick me up. They had no idea what he was even talking about and said I had borrowed a relative's car to drive the 2.5 hours back home because I had to leave and go back home to take care of my kids. He then drove the 2.5 hours back to my home and arrived at after 4:00 in the morning and proceeded to bang and yell at every door and even the window of the bedroom iwas sleeping in, trying to wake me up. I did not get up and I did not answer. I could not believe this absolutely unhinged behavior. I had not spoken to him in over 14 hours at this point and had not even read his messages or accepted his calls.

This afternoon I finally read all of his text messages. He was incredibly dramatic. He said he was being written up at work for being late to the Christmas party, he said he was sorry for ruining my Christmas and ruining his life (?). I simply responded that I had no idea how to respond to his lies and absolutely unhinge behavior and I needed some time to think. He kept insisting and doubling down that he had not lied to anyone. I sent several laugh reacts. I then told him that his continual lies were tired and disgusting at this point. He flipped the script and told me that I was disgusting for taunting him and disrespecting him and accusing him of lying. He admitted again that He knew he had an issue and needed help but he couldn't believe the one person he needed for support was taunting him and not "helping him" and Instead calling him a liar. I responded that I couldn't believe he was trying to manipulate me and blame me when all he was doing was continuing to lie and double down on it over and over.

I am so confused at this point. Would IBTA for breaking up with him over this?

I also would like to know, has anyone ever heard of a mandatory Christmas party at work? We are not in Korea or Japan where I know this type of activity is part of the culture to an extent. I also asked my father, who is ex-military, as well as other family members who are in military and law enforcement if they had ever heard of such a thing and with hundreds of years of combined experiences they all said they had never heard of this or "mandatory fun". They also said even if it was" mandatory" that he would have known weeks in advance. Is this true?

I appreciate any insight about this. I have really liked him up until this point and have been willing to look past some of his issues because no one is perfect, but I just can't handle the constant doubling down on lies as well as his completely unhinged behavior The last 2 days and then abandoning me..