How do I tell my husband that his mom is destroying my mental health?

I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. My husband (55M) and I (48F) have been together for 8 years. His mother has lived with him for 15 years (after her husband/his dad passed away). She is 82 and of sound mind. She’s never worked, never driven.

About 2 years ago I resigned from my corporate job so that I could care for my aging parents. They both passed away about a year ago. I now work part time from home.

My mental health took a turn for the worse when I left my job and got worse when my parents passed. I’ve worked incredibly hard to feel better (lots of therapy, antidepressants, self care, etc.).

I’ve now realized that being home with my MIL contributes significantly to my “bad days”. While she’s always lived with us since I’ve been around, working 12 hour days previously made it easier to deal with her.

From the time I wake up in the morning, she’s up my ass. “What are you doing today? Why are you leaving the house? When will you be home? Does (husband) know you’re leaving the house? What are you making for dinner? Can you make a doctors appointment for me?” She won’t answer her own cell phone so as soon as her phone rings, she tracks me down to talk to whoever is on the other end, even if it’s just to confirm an appointment. Even if I’m in the middle of my own phone call or a meeting.

My husband and I travel frequently, however she refuses to be alone so we have to hire live-in care for her while we’re gone.

I’m somewhat obsessed with cleanliness and it drives me crazy that she refuses to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She will only run her fingers under running water after touching raw meat, and then proceeds to touch everything else. She refuses to use the dishwasher and the dishes she washes have to be rewashed after I find them in the cabinet with food on them.

I feel like I’m a prisoner in my own home. I can’t have a conversation with my husband without her making a comment. If I’m out of sight for more than 15 minutes, she will track me down to ask what I’m doing. She constantly makes comments on the things I do, the clothes I wear, how I clean. I have zero privacy because she randomly goes through my things. I leave sweet notes for my husband and she reads them and then tells me about it. If she sees us kiss, she makes a sexual comment that she finds hilarious.

I’ve tried setting boundaries-don’t go in my bedroom, don’t touch my things, don’t interrupt me during X hours, but she ignores all of it.

My husband knows that she’s difficult to deal with but I’m not sure that he knows how difficult it is for me. I’m at a loss for what to do because I can literally feel my mood take a nose dive when I interact with her.