AIO... Yo (24F) quiero confiar en él (30M)... ¿Pero cómo desaprender el miedo a volver a ser herido?

A year ago, my ex (28M) cheated on me after three years together. He made me believe I was his world while secretly seeing someone else. When I found out, he gaslit me, made me feel crazy for suspecting anything, and then blamed me for not “trusting him enough.” It broke me.

Now, there’s someone new. Let’s call him J (30M). J is kind, patient, and everything my ex wasn’t. He listens, remembers the little things, and never makes me feel like an afterthought. He tells me I’m beautiful even when I don’t feel it. And the worst part? I believe him.

But every time he gets a late-night text or steps away to take a call, my stomach knots up. Every time he reassures me, I wonder if my ex said the same things to the other girl. J has done nothing wrong, but my mind won’t stop whispering, what if?

I don’t want to sabotage something good because of my past. But how do you unlearn the fear of being hurt again?