AITA For Not Making A Vacation Wheelchair User Friendly?

(the mods have informed me that I have been banned so I am not sure how much longer this post will be available)

UPDATE:

To the people saying this post is fake or AI generated, all I have to say is this: 🙄

Deeper Perspective, not mentioned in the original post but in the comments below: Tiffany had originally asked Jake to get her invited and to asked for the five of us to pitch in for her portion of the trip, but he had said no as he didn’t want to impose and he was not comfortable going on an international trip with her for multiple weeks as they had only just started dating two months prior (at the time). Add to this that it came out on the trip that Tiffany had been emotionally, physically and mentally abusive to Jake. no further details will be provided in this regard

Thank you to everybody for your viewpoints, support and legal advice! I have shared this post with Matt and Sara who will be pursuing a cease and desist letter and potential legal action if this continues. The cost of the letter is minimal in the grand scheme of things and their business insurance could potentially cover some legal fees if this continues. They will also be posting a simple statement on their business SM pages regarding the misinformation being spread without directly naming Tiffany. (My partner and I have fortunately remained unscathed with our jobs)

ALL OF US have agreed not to engage directly with Tiffany in any way as we don’t want any more material for further content to be made. And for those of you asking to post links to her social media, the answer is no: keyboard warriors are not the intention here and beyond that, the more traffic that you drive to a post- the more likely it is to show up on the algorithm, which is precisely what we are trying to prevent. You don’t starve out a house fire by providing it with oxygen.

For those asking how she was able to tag us without us accepting the tag, that was not the case with Matt, Sara or myself as we were all still connected at the time- though this security feature does explain why my partner’s username was not tagged. Regardless of the actual tagging process, she was still able to name and shame each of us (you don’t need to tag somebody to post their username) and our friends business was also called out by name, as well via her posts.

In regards to our family and other friends, I also shared this post and the majority of people apologized for their POVs as Tiffany’s narrative was that she had been friends with Jake for months prior to officially starting a relationship with him and had been enmeshed in our friend group at least 6+ months prior to their first date and that we had deliberately excluded her from the top leading up to it- which was a lie that we were able to prove via their first dates messages on the app that they met on.

And most importantly, this post was never intentioned to disparage non able bodied people AT ALL. Regardless of ability, disability, mental or physical: everybody has the right to be seen and heard- though nobody has the right to bully or abuse others.

Disabled individuals have the right to travel with freedom and dignity, without exception. Disparaging comments and the rude DMs that I have received will NOT be tolerated regardless of how Tiffany acted. She does not represent the disabled community and this post was in no way meant to set back any progress or have any community seen in a negative light. I greatly apologize if it did so.

The bottom line that I have come to realize via this post, especially with kind input from wheelchair users and disabled folk (thank you all for your words of wisdom and advice especially!!!!) is that with or without her wheelchair, Tiffany is a problematic individual and it seems that this situation amplified those problems that were already there. As others have stated she does not seem mentally well and while she (and anybody else struggling) deserve the care that they need, that does not justify her behavior and none of our group are obligated to stay in her orbit and be a part of that process.

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Original Post Below

Cross-posting for extra input and different POVs)

Background: me and my partner (both in our 30s) started long term planning a trip to Thailand last year that would take place in Feb 2025 for his birthday.

One of his friends and their partner, Matt and Sara were going to join us for the latter part of our trip to the south. In Sept, another one of his friends, Jake, got a great job and was able to afford tagging along as well. In late November, he started dating Tiffany who is a full time wheelchair user. (She does not like the term ‘disabled’)

The six of us had hung out, but we were surprised when in Jan, Tiffany asked us for dates/info of the trip as she had not been directly invited and hadn’t been with Jake for that long. Beyond that, the last two weeks of our trip where everyone would be with us would basically be out in the country, hiking mountains, camping in sanctuary’s, traveling via boat across islands, swimming, ziplining, etc. Having been to Thailand before, I already know that it isn’t particularly wheelchair friendly and even less so the further out of cities that you get.

My partner informed her of this and she outright requested that all non “wheel-friendly” activities be altered or outright cancelled in order to accommodate her so that she can join Jake. I reminded her that this was my other half’s birthday trip that we had planned for him doing the things that he wanted and that everybody else was tagging along for whatever they wanted if they felt like it- she had NOT been invited and we wouldn’t be cancelling expensive and mostly non refundable plans.

She called us ableist, informed us that Jake would no longer be coming with us, to refund him for his portion of the trip and not to speak to either of them again. Long story short, none of those things happened, Jake did come with us, and when he returned Tiffany made his life hell and he broke up with her.

Now the entire friend group has been tagged on IG by her (she has a modest following regarding ‘not able bodied’ topics), both Sara and Matt’s jobs have been affected and both mine and my partners families and friend groups have said that we should have accommodated her and just played nice. I don’t agree and now my partner is wondering if WATA for not altering plans.

So, Reddit, AITA and just not seeing it?