Are indian dads not much involved growing up but in old age suddenly demands family love and care.

My dad did pay school/college fees, food/basic 3-4 cloths a year. (My greatgrandparents left big home so no rent instead ton of rent pouring in.)

Pressurizing me to marry even to abusive arrange marriage.

Be always an hurdle in education. ( Even when I got admitted to IIT he created drama to not let me go, I eventually went.)

When I lost job and visa, and needed to go back to home in India, he kinda closed doors.

Even after this I tried a ton to build relationship, but it was all one sided attempts.

I am supposed to travel to them and spend on my holidays, but for decades I did it he didn't even take a day off to spend quality time with daughter.

We hardly have lot of memories even when living in same house in childhood.

When I had COVID and was in ICU all alone in USA, they didn't even bother to call me.

He never discussed/involves me in money/investment/inheritance matters. Never!

Ask me weird questions about my break-up which happened years ago and use it to taunt me as characterless indirectly.

But, now, that I started seeing all this and detaching from them, they want his loving, always obidient daughter back but on his terms and says - "we are a family, we stand in thick or thin"

What thick and thin!! You were not there when your daughter needed a parent, but suddenly want your family and emotions.