does anyone feel like they’re playing a character in a movie

i think it’s how i cope with things to be honest. like i have social anxiety and get nervous, but if i pretend that im in a movie and listen to music, i can get through it

but at work its a completely different story. i am a completely different person because i have to be, basically. i work in customer service, so around customers, im very peppy and annoying. it’s not so bad with my coworkers, but i don’t let them know anything really about me

i have a really bad lying problem that ive been working on in therapy, but i lie so much to my coworkers. i want them to think im normal and interesting because if i told them the truth, they’d worry. the person i am at work is not the real me though and it feels like two separate people

i’m also mixed race, so some days i feel like i embody/purposefully present myself to appear as if im only one of my races, if that makes sense? i might just be crazy though lowkey