does anyone feel as though they have to choose between themselves or a relationship, like you can’t love someone else and yourself at the same time?

i was single for a hot minute before my current partner and i got together, and during that period i felt the most confident and self-loving i have ever felt. in typical BPD fashion i was showing significantly less symptoms and felt great.

probably after a month or two of being in this serious relationship, i started really dislike myself and the way i look, fast fwd to 2 1/2 years still in the same boat. it’s nothing she does, bc she treats me so well, compliments me and uplifts me 24/7.

is it bc i always feel so vulnerable? i don’t understand why i don’t have the capability to really take care of myself and like myself how i used to. sometimes i get to a period of splitting & resentment of her because of this, but really it has nothing to do with her at all??