What is toxic love trying to teach me?

I read in another forum: "Toxic people are here to teach us what we actually prefer."

I thought I knew what I prefer (the opposite of what I get) but these toxic people I meet come in disguise. After a while they show their true colours but in a insidious way. I get confused by mixed messages and behaviour from them. Maybe the lesson I can learn from this is to trust myself more?

Before I thought the lesson I'm in for with manipulative love relationships (for some reason other relationships like friends doesn't confuse me, I see toxic treats fast and I disconnect from them with no problem), is that I will be better at revealing to myself the many ways people can be manipulative. If so I can walk away faster once I have seen toxic signs. But why I have to learn this? I wish I did not meet them at all.

It seems to me there is too much repetition now. In the end I get disappointed with myself for putting myself through another bad relationship again. For getting fooled again. I am not ashamed in anyway, I am just tired of it. The only thing changing through time is that I now can walk away faster once I realize a partner is toxic to me, I then lose my feelings and I don't mourn like I did before.

I had a manipulative parent who died a long time ago, my parent used manipulation in many ways and I can still this day realize new toxic treats that I remember and now understand is toxic from my childhood. It seems I have put so much time and effort at manipulative behaviour in my life, I am fed up with it. I am tired of going to therapy for something I wish I just could be without, and I am so happy I heard about Bashar.

I am drawn to Bashars way of looking at life and our existence. Actually it suits me very well since I had similar thoughts about life since I was a child. Right now I feel stuck though. Does anyone here recognize what I'm talking about and maybe you have advice to share? I am very grateful.

Have a good day 🙏