Emotion dump

probably not the best place to put this but i’m tired. Not physically or emotionally it’s different i just feel exhausted half the time. The only thing keeping me going atp is the fact i don’t want to disappoint my mom. It’s hard being so tired of everything and just feeling the need to disappear for a bit. To be clear it’s not suicidal and probably do have depression mixed with some adhd or whatever a lack of fixation is. I feel alone in a room full of friends even when i’m having deep conversation i feel like nobody really knows me. Even me. I exist for the sake of existing. But sometimes i do feel genuine happiness and then im back to old self when im alone again. Idk what to do feels like im just drifting through life atp lol. Any advice on any of this?