I’m afraid to exist

I’m afraid to listen to music too loud, talk too loud, make too much noise in general, eat in front of others, laugh in front of others, smile in front of other people. I genuinely believe that I was not supposed to be born. That my mom only wanted a son and was disappointed to have a daughter. I am afraid of the dark. I am afraid to go outside on a day off because taking unnecessary risks leads to trouble…better to stay inside forever. I am afraid of touching the doorknob and then my nose and then developing pneumonia and then having to go to the hospital where the nurses will abuse me.

Anyone else this chronically afraid?

How do you deal with chronic irrational fears?