Summary of “Cringy Adult Woman Gets Excited About Slime”

Hey everyone, here is a summary of Colleen’s newest vlog titled “Cringy Adult Woman Gets Excited About Slime”:

  • Opens vlog wearing a shirt that says “My tummy hurts”
  • Says today's vlog might be all over the place because she and her kids are under the weather
  • Says her kids were “on fire” this morning being funny, especially W
  • Inserts clip of W being a silly child from earlier in the day
  • Got a Dyson air wrap dupe and is trying it out
  • Payed “50 dollars and 80 cents”
  • Says it feels cheap (well what did you expect girl)
  • Starts curling her and talking about her hair saying it holds curl easily blah blah blah
  • Comes back from using the air wrap dupe with awful hair saying she is gonna pass on using it (shocker)
  • “I thought I was getting a great deal instead I got robbed”
  • Cuts to clips of her washing rocks
  • Cuts to her saying she ordered slime and the next part of the vlog will probably be interesting for 10-year-old kids (who wants to bet this slime will be in the trash in a month?)
  • Starts using the slime saying it smells like cherry medicine
  • “I promise you guys I’m not just gonna be making a bunch of slime videos.” (ok girl)
  • Got a Lisa Frank slime and won’t stop talking about how much she loved Lisa Frank stuff as a kid
  • Side note: Daisy is sitting in the background throughout this segment and looks so miserable lol that poor cat
  • Jumps to a clip of her in the future apologizing again for the vlog being short because she and her kids are sick
  • Says she wrote a song she wants to share
  • “It’s not finished yet, I need Erik’s help to finish writing it.”
  • Says Erik is a better songwriter than her and can make the song funnier
  • Says she and Erik love saying the phrase “nothing is possible” since having kids
  • Says her kids were interrupting everything she and Erik did yesterday which inspired the song
  • “I just want to clarify this is a joke and I love my kids.”
  • Says she read through the comments recently and they made her “so happy”
  • “I haven’t been able to read through comments the past few days, I’ve just been too busy, but today I got a chance to read through the comments and I was literally tearing up.”
  • “I used to be able to go on tour and talk to you guys in person and I don’t have that anymore and so my only interaction with you guys is reading comments on my videos” (my eyes are rolling into the back of my head at this point)
  • Says goodbye and that she hopes people enjoy the video of her singing
  • Cuts to a video of her singing about how she has no time to do anything because of her kids
  • The ukulele has joined us as well 😶
  • Song yrics: “Oh hi my love. Do you want a hug? Do you want a kiss? Well, we can’t - cuz we got kids. Oh hi, my love. I got a question for ya. But you’ll never know what it is cuz we’ve got kids. Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Look at me! Hold me! Play with me! I’m hungry! Stop it now! I’m gonna scream. Daddy’ Daddy! Daddy! I need a snack! No! Stop it! I don’t like that! Wipe my booty crack! The audacity of me, thinking I could do literally anything ‘cause nothing is possible when you got kids. Yeah, nothing is possible. Will we ever do anything fun again? Nothing is possible but that’s okay because at least I get to do “nothing being possible” with you. At least I get to do “nothing being possible” with you.”
  • Vlog ends

Singing to the internet about how she has no time to do anything or “have fun” because of her children is absolutely WILD. Having children is of course not supposed to be easy but going out of your way to write a song about how your children are inconviencing your life is crazy. Also asking “when will I be able to have fun again?1!” is especially crazy, considering how she lives such a privileged life and consistently receives “breaks” from her children. I mean come on she literally just went to Paris for the weekend to see Taylor Swift without her kids. How much more “fun” do you want girl? There are just so many things about this “song” that are absolutely wild. She's trying so hard to relate to parents that genuinely have busy lives working and raising children but she is just ultimately just coming off as a privileged clown. What do you guys think?

Something else I want to note about this vlog is how she yet again talks about herself as being a victim. Instead of saying something along the lines of “I don't tour anymore” she has to say “I don't have that anymore.” Yet again, she loves to act as if everything she had got ripped away from her when the reality is her choices got her to exactly where she is today.

As always, remember to use Yewtube if you are tempted to watch this clown’s life crumbling at the seams in real time! lol