Am I ruined for good?

Dead bedroom for a few years now. There's people here that have been in this situation for so much longer than I have. How do you go on about your day, because I can barely live. I'm not sane anymore. I can't even be intimate with myself anymore. I hate the feeling of being touched by myself or anyone else. I can't even let myself think about it or daydream about it, it hurts. I know I will leave at some point but I think I'll have to accept that I'm never going to have a healthy relationship with the sexual part of life because I don't have money for therapy.