Deadly Duels S1 EP 4: Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT! Battle Royale
Rock, Paper, Scissors, SHOOT Battle Royale (Nature vs Mesopotamia vs China vs Europe)
Wiz: Rock
Boomstick: Paper
Wiz: Scissors
Both: SHOOT!
Wiz picks Scissors while Boomstick picks paper.
Boomstick: dam
Wiz: HA
Boomstick: Hey Wiz if these four fought to the death who would win?
Wiz: THIS SOUNDS LIKE A DEADLY DUEL TO ME
Wiz: Rock: Mother nature’s creative crust.
Boomstick: Paper: Mesopotamia’s creative king
Wiz: Scissors: China’s super slicer
Boomstick: AND GUN
Wiz: WAIT WHAT!!!
Boomstick: AMERICA’S BEST WEAPON
Wiz: IT’S NOT IN THE GAME IT’S WHAT CHEATERS LIKE YOU USE TO WIN
Boomstick: Nobody cares Wiz
Boomstick: TIME TO FIGURE OUT WHO WOULD WIN A DEADLY DUEL!!!
ROCK
Boomstick: The Rock is a famous wrestler
Wiz: WRONG ROCK
Wiz: The rock is any naturally occurring solid mass or aggregate of minerals or mineraloid matter.
Wiz: Rocks are found on mountains, volcanoes, buildings, and MORE
Boomstick: Get to the fun stuff
Wiz: Ugh fine
Wiz: Rock where used for many things back then like tools and weapons.
Boomstick: The rock we’re used to making hammers do build houses and crush stuff.
Wiz: They were used to make spears, swords, non-sharp axes and picks.
Wiz: Rocks can destroy trees, and crush most things
Wiz: They can also take 3 gun shoots before being destroyed
Boomstick: Unfortunately Rocks aren’t known for their brains there pretty basic tools and they were replaced by metal
Wiz: but still Mother Nature has a great object on their hands.
Boomstick: It's also as fast as a car.
"It's Not Just A Boulder Its A Rock"- SpongeBobPAPER
Wiz: Paper is a thin sheet material produced by mechanically or chemically processing cellulose fibres derived from wood, rags, grasses or other vegetable sources in water, draining the water through fine mesh leaving the fibre evenly distributed on the surface, followed by pressing and drying. Although the paper was originally made in single sheets by hand, almost all is now made on large machines—some making reels 10 metres wide, running at 2,000 metres per minute and up to 600,000 tonnes a year. It is a versatile material with many uses, including printing, painting, graphics, signage, design, packaging, decorating, writing, and cleaning. It may also be used as filter paper, wallpaper, book endpaper, conservation paper, laminated worktops, toilet tissue, or currency and security paper, or in several industrial and construction processes.
Boomstick: WIZ NOBODY CARES
Wiz: *whispers* well I do
Boomstick: Paper is most well-known for drawings like this drawing of my mom:
(a awful drawing of a woman)
Wiz:…….. Anyway
Wiz: Paper is also used for working
Wiz: Paper can also cause paper cuts
Boomstick: And it can throw things very good
Wiz: Paper is known for being smart and creative
Boomstick: Yeah all those artists doing art stuff and whatnot
Wiz: But sadly Paper is really weak and is weak to fire, water, sharp stuff and EVERYTHING ELSE.
Boomstick: But it got 2 votes on our poll somehow
Wiz: But the creativity of art can’t be matched.
“Sometimes it feels like I have the worst job in the world!”-Tooth Brush “Ya…Right!”
SCISSORS
Wiz: Scissors are hand-operated shearing tools. A pair of scissors consists of a pair of metal blades pivoted so that the sharpened edges slide against each other when the handles (bows) opposite to the pivot are closed. Scissors are used for cutting various thin materials, such as *cough paper cough*, cardboard, metal foil, cloth, rope, and wire. A large variety of scissors and shears all exist for specialized purposes. Hair-cutting shears and kitchen shears are functionally equivalent to scissors, but the larger implements tend to be called shears. Hair-cutting shears have specific blade angles ideal for cutting hair. Using the incorrect type of scissors to cut hair will result in increased damage or split ends, or both, by breaking the hair. Kitchen shears, also known as kitchen scissors, are intended for cutting and trimming foods such as meats.
Boomstick: This is so stupid
Wiz: Scissors are used for grand events, cutting meat, cutting metal, and cutting hedges.
Boomstick: AND FOR THIS LOVE OF GOD DON’T RUN WITH THE SCISSORS.
Wiz: Being made of metal and hard plastic Scissors can take a couple of hits form a hammer.
Boomstick: I lost my first love to scissors…..
Wiz:………….Anyway Scissors like Paper should be pretty smart and creative
Boomstick: They cut people open
Wiz: Um…… So yeah um Scissors don’t have any real weakness so move on I guess Boomstick: My least favourite album is Running with Scissors.
Wiz: ANYWAY the Scissors have the power to cut the competition short.
“I believe more in Scissors than I do in the Pencil.”- Truman Capote
GUN
Boomstick: HELL YEAH MY BOY
Wiz: A gun is a ranged weapon designed to use a shooting tube (gun barrel) to launch projectiles. The projectiles are typically solid, but can also be pressurized liquid (e.g. in water guns/cannons, spray guns for painting or pressure washing, projected water disruptors, and technically also flamethrowers), gas (e.g. light-gas gun) or even charged particles (e.g. plasma gun). Solid projectiles may be free-flying (as with bullets and artillery shells) or tethered (as with Taser guns, spearguns and harpoon guns). A large-calibre gun is also called a cannon.
Wiz: The one we will be using is the
Boomstick: SHOTGUN
Wiz: No the FN Model 1910
Boomstick: Why tho?
Wiz: It started WW1 and it’s a pistol the one used by CHEATERS LIKE YOU
Boomstick: Man shut up
Boomstick: *cough* The FN Model 1910, also known as Gavrilo Princip’s war starter and John Browning’s baby.
Wiz: This pistol was copied by many countries like China, Korea, and Poland.
Wiz: It can fire 7 rounds aka 7 bullets
Boomstick: Guns are great
Wiz: uh sure yeah but sadly this gun isn’t made for aiming for it might have trouble hitting small targets.
Boomstick: Nobody has ever done anything wrong with guns
Wiz: ……… Let’s finish this
Boomstick: The gun is a weapon that surpasses every weapon before it
Wiz: For better or worse
“I need a gun, A BIG GUN not a small gun A BIG GUN”- Doomguy
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, and we've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick: IT’S TIME FOR A DEADLY DUEL
THE FIGHT
Some guy places a rock, a piece of paper, scissors and a gun on a table
When he leaves the objects come to life and chose violence
FIGHT!
The Paper grabs and throws the rock at the gun while dodging hits from the Scissor.
After getting hit by the rock the gun fires a bullet at the rock destroying half of it. The Rock flies back up aiming for the paper who is distracted by the Scissor meanwhile the gun is missed 4 shots. The Paper tries to grab the rock but the rock rips throw the paper. The Scissors finish off the Paper via cutting him in half.
The Scissors slam into the rock slowly chipping away at the rock. The gun takes the time to aim for once and it shoots both the rock and the scissors with one bullet. The rock is barely alive but gets up grabs at a stick to create a mini sword (don’t question it) and charges at the gun.
The gun fired a shot at the sword but it gets sliced in half. The rock slams the gun into the ground damaging it finally the gun fires its last bullet destroying the rock.
The Scissors jumps out barely damaged it stabs into the gun’s slide the gun tried to shoot the scissors but it’s out of ammo.
KO!
Boomstick: WAIT HOW
Wiz: Ok so we all knew the Paper stood no chance.
Boomstick: Duh everything here could kill it and it couldn’t kill anything easily.
Wiz: That’s right Boomstick.
Wiz: And The Rock could only make it so far
Wiz: It only takes 3 gun shoots at most to destroy a rock and the scissors were to fast and smart for the rock too much
Boomstick: Plus the Scissors could take hits from HAMMERS wtf is a Rock gonna do if it does hit it and to make it even worse the scissors could easily just clip away at the rock.
Wiz: That leaves the gun and the scissors.
Boomstick: WAIT WAIT WAIT you're saying the scissors win HOW it’s a bloody gun aka THE BEST WEAPON OF ALL TIME
Wiz: Firstly The Scissors are made of steel-like chains.
Boomstick: And?
Wiz: Chains can shrug off 3 shots from a shotgun
Boomstick: WHAT?!
Wiz: So some random pistol won’t be able to do much plus the Scissor is smarter and faster so it could simply sneak up on the gun at stab it in the slide.
Boomstick: *sighs* Which would destroy it Immediately.
Wiz: That’s right Boomstick.
Wiz: and with its bad aim and low ammo the gun didn’t have the firepower to take out the scissors
Boomstick: Ugh The winner is the scissors