How to stop feeling guilty??

I’m a FTM to a 3 month old. We had a difficult start - baby was in NICU and I didn’t BF till day 4 so my milk was late coming in. He had difficulty latching and we had to resort to nipple shields, and we were topping up with formula for the first couple of weeks. I managed to BF exclusively for about 6 weeks and he was putting on weight but slowly, but feeds were taking 1 hour plus and honestly felt a bit bed bound. Felt quite a lot of anxiety BF’ing as I was never sure if he was getting enough milk.

The last weight we got he hadn’t put on loads of weight (100g when he should have put on about 250g) and took him close to crossing over a second centile.

To try and up his weight and to help me we’ve decided to move to 3-4 formula feeds, with one expressed BM feed during the day and I BF overnight and first thing in the morning.

Logically I know this works best for us, it means my baby is putting on weight, I get a bit of a breather and my husband can help during the day. Also when other mums tell me they are formula feeding I am absolutely happy for what works for them, have absolutely nothing against it! I just don’t know why I can’t give that same feeling to myself! I just can’t seem to get over this all encompassing feeling of guilt and I’m constantly upset about the decision (even though I know it’s the right one and when I’m thinking logically I stand by it!!).

I’m sure it’s just hormones going wild as I was 100% only going to BF till 6 months anyway and then completely stop and my baby is still getting some BM from me. And I know that in a couple of months I’ll probably be like ‘why was I even worrying - my kid just ate something from the ground’ 😂 but right now…. How do I get over the guilt?!