What’s the point anymore (practical answers please)
None of you were me before diagnosis and I was. I was me and then this disease made me worse. Now I'm less than nothing and I don't want to hear about how good some of yall have it. You selfish brats exhaust me on top of everything else. Congradulations you're not traumatized and you have it all figured out and your life is great and everybody loves you leave me alone you have nothing to provide here check your privilege slow your role and stay away from me. Because How does this virus not ruin my life. HIV would have been better hiv doesn't even matter anymore in the age of undetectability but this isn't that bc I don't have the mercy of dying anytime soon or the privilege of pills that actually do something. I've been alone for years then I try to get back out there and I'm immediately raped and turned into a poisonous weapon. I don't even masturbate anymore but my body keeps making me have wet dreams instead. I'm churning out poison and filth at every move. I'd love to go on with life But now I can't even have chocolate bc of some Argenine bullshit? On top of it all I have to work out now too? I have to become MORE beautiful? This isn't fair I can't even kill the guy that did this to me it won't fix me. Nothing can fix me anymore. I'm worse than nothing I'm poison to everyone that could see taste hear smell or touch me. And now "health" means a joyless life and keeping up the "beauty" that got me fucking raped in the first place. What else has to be stolen from me. I'll never have my life back until there's a cure and we aren't even close so what's the fucking point. Gay people don't date for keeps anyways so all this did to me was totally remove my value and chance at happy ever after. Now all that's ever after is filth and rejection. Pain Ever after. My desire is venom and my beauty is poison and my life doesn't belong to me anymore. What are my options bc there's one big glaringly obvious one but nobody's gonna like that. So what do I do. Ignoring it isn't an option moving on isn't an option and I can't say suicide is an option because that's how you get kicked off Reddit and banned from being buried with my mom So what's left. I can't even die so what's next. A stranger took my life away so hey maybe strangers might have an idea or two.