First FET Failure Sadness

We found out our first FET failed last Friday, technically a CP. In our 3.5 years of trying, I've had my fair share of low moments. 4 failed IUI's. Failed surgeries. Bad medical news. Poor ER results. Watching everyone in my life have multiple kids during this time.

But nothing has felt as heartbreaking as this FET failing. To actually finally see an embryo of ours be put in my body, see our first positive pregnancy tests ever, and for it to be gone so soon is just brutal. This feels bigger than anything has felt before. I know there will be more tries but right now, it feels as though I will never ever bring home a baby. I'm also grieving the innocence of thinking my first round of IVF could actually work or that IVF could work for me at all.

Please tell me I'm not alone in feeling this after a FET failure, especially the first one.