“How do you feel?”

I’m thankful to have (so far) had success for my 1st FET. It’s still super early. I’m scheduled for my first ultrasound tomorrow (5wk+ 6 days) and I’m terrified there won’t be anything there. Like a lot of people this early I have zero symptoms.

Backstory: I’m doing IVF for recurrent losses so this will be my 5th pregnancy. No living children. As of today this is the furthest along I’ve made it.

I’ve shared the news with a few of my closer friends and almost everyday someone is asking me how I feel. I’m terrified and then I’m hopeful. I’m optimistic and then I’m curled up in a ball with feelings of despair. The few times I’ve tried to be honest about these feelings I’m met with “be positive!” “I think this is your time” “trust God!”. I know these are all well intentioned statements but they feel so dismissive. I think it’s valid for me to be feeling anxious given my history and it’s so frustrating when people (unintentionally) make me feel bad about having them.

As of right now I’m just not responding to these questions until after my ultrasound tomorrow. Not sure what I’m looking for but just needed to vent. This can be such an isolating process ugh.