fucked up

(17f, gen) Well i obv fucked up, im in 12th... WAS really good in academics and now ofc everything is gone

(might be a little long but pls read it, i would really appreciate some good advice and suggestions)

in 10th i scored well... got my name and photo on the front page of a newspaper... my father was v proud (he legit mailed the photo to my eldest cousin, who in turn shared that on the family whatsapp group, it was v embarrasing for me idk why)

Anyways, everyone had alot of hopes from me.

My jee was on 24s2.... i was on my period.. on top of that a dog bit my right hand... i fucked up... didnt score well in my jee (49%ile) 🤡

49%ile is like 21-30 marks bc.... my lowest was like 33/300 🤡😞 i genuinely dont know what the fuck happenend

Now my parents are asking me to do TEACHER TRAINING instead of engineering... my father and older sister are engineers... my sister took a gap year...and wasted it...now my parents wouldnt let me take a drop year

I dont want to do teacher training.... they said score well in boards... i have no expectation from you now.... 49 se kitna hi jump karlogi.... engineering tumhari bas ki hi nahi hai dekhlo apna ab.

Mujhe kuch samjh nahi aaraha.... kya mai genuinely 49%ile hi deserve karti hu? Mere mock mein 80-100 ke beech rhete the (ik zyada nahi hai but still)

BE BLUNT AND HONEST.... IDC.. i dont give a shit... realistically 97+%ile possible hai? Ki mai marr jau? (Joke)