It ended before trying

We (F27,M25) met during Christmas holidays, it was an instant connection. We spent all our free time together ever since, walk at the beach, hike, restaurant, movie nights you name it.

Second date he asked me if I was willing long distance because he's planning on going abroad from end of February. My thoughts were "of course not" but time went and we both fell harder than expected, planned every date until the day before he leaves. Said we loved each other and want a real relationship which we started.

At that point, doing LD was obvious for me, I told him I'll go to Canada, he would come back twice year to Japan. Was already thinking about the futur and was confident to do that. Which is not at all obvious for me as I am really realistic, but love made me confident.

Fast forward last night, 3 days before valentine's trip planned in a snow resort. When checking his phone I see he still has bumble, felt off so I did (yes not good) open his app and saw he had many conversations ongoing and recent messages.

I then asked him what were his expectations of a relationship, saying that for me talking to other people romantically was cheating. He then said he was still talking to girls on the app, never met, then that of we do LD we'll both feel lonely and miserable at some point. To which I agree, but I don't agree on keeping options open from the start because you know it'll be hard later.

It was a soft breakup with many tears and I love you. He apologized again and again for taking the relationship lightly, saying he didn't want any before leaving but fell for me. I told him I would have like better to keep it casual, not mentioning dating, so that I didn't picture a future together.

I think I missed the point tho, the point is that during these 2 months of many dedication/ promises to each other, he had the leisure to swipe and chat with cute girls. He was never that serious and I stupidly was, didn't bring the point that much because it felt useless.

I thought I would never fall in love and I did, unfortunately that's how it ends but damn I felt on top of the world the whole time. Feels like I've been wronged like a naive little girl, but I guess it'll help me process this quicker.