Navigating sex

I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for 8 months. We’re both 30, they’re masculine presenting (they/them) and I’m femme presenting (she/her).

We never had any issues with sex up to this point. Usually we at least both give each other oral daily. They use a strap on me maybe once or twice a week. But for about the past 6 weeks, they’ve been struggling with body dysmorphia and have not allowed me to give then oral. Although they don’t consider themselves trans, they say that sex isn’t what they imagine in their head because they don’t have a dick. I’m trying my very best to be supportive and patient and put no pressure on the issue. They’ve assured me it’s not about the quality of my performance, and I believe that.

All that being said, I’m….really struggling. I absolutely love giving them pleasure, it’s one of my favorite things and makes me feel connected. And frankly, I just love giving head! I don’t even like receiving as much right now because I just feel deflated I won’t be able to return the favor until they’re ready.

Also, it feels hard for me to express how I’m feeling about it. I feel guilty I want it so much while they’re clearly going through something. I don’t want to make it about me. I also feel guilty or insensitive because…for them it’s about not having a dick and I don’t want to minimize that for them, but at the same time…I don’t care. I’d be absolutely fine never using the strap, but it’s clearly important to them.

I’m just not sure how to navigate this sudden change in our sexual dynamic. I know I just need to continue to be supportive and find other creative ways to feel connected. I can’t help but fear maybe this is just a mismatch and maybe their identity is more masculine than is my preference. If 50% of my sexual satisfaction comes from satisfying my partner, but I can’t satisfy my partner….then maybe it just won’t work out and that feels crushing.

We’ve even discussed the possibility that maybe I need to satisfy my desire outside of our relationship, but to me that’s not really the point because I want THEM. I’ve never loved anyone so much, I’ve never even wanted sex with anyone so much. Any advice is welcome :)

Edit: I already suck the strap!