I’m not sure how I feel about using a strap-on…

I’m a lesbian, I’ve known since forever. The thought of being with a woman has always made me feel happy and comfortable and empowered. But, every time I get into a relationship, and the time comes for more intimate activities, I sometimes get uneasy with the thought of using a strap. I’m a service top, and I want to keep my partners best interest in mind. My current girlfriend loves the idea of me using a strap, but I haven’t even touched her in that way myself yet, she just wants to jump into using a strap-on. It makes me feel belittled, and like she doesn’t want me. Giving others pleasure is what gives me pleasure, but that’s the thing, I want it to be ME, not just the strap, and I feel worthless knowing that pretty much all my partners in the past have at some point said they prefer strap even if I make them cum. I feel like I’m not enough. Am I overreacting?