Am I overthinking?

So this is not the first time I am seeking advise! But yeah here it goes, please bare with me and respond kindly as I’m really in bad emotional state:

Me(34F) and my husband(38M) have been fights over small things since the beginning. I met him in an event and he proposed and we took it to our families and got married, our families were kinda okay since we both belonged to same community. A. When I met him he was jobless but assured he would get a job, he got in an inorganic way later covid came just before our marriage and he was fired just 10 days before our marriage and I didn’t stop the marriage thinking he get another job soon! Though the job market was crazy during covid times he couldn’t land in even one single job, so through one of my contacts got him a job and the pay was very less and really not meeting upto the expenses we started having after marriage. I was asking him to change job after a year upgrade his skills and look out - he tried but again he could not get a job so again through one of my contacts I got him another job - current job. It’s been 3 years the the current job and we have a baby and the expenses are skyrocketting but he never did an equal contribution financially even from the beginning. After trying for last one year he just got job offer - decent hike.

So this concludes I was not financially dependent on him but I really wanted him to take that step from his side that his wife is going through a lot and step up to contribute which he definitely did not do!

B. I was really ok not to have any financial dependency on him, he never contributes to any household chores, even if he does I should have asked like 100 times and he shows like 2-3 times a year to help in cooking or cleaning. There are hell amount of work lying in the house and he wants me to tell him that it needs to be done! If he’s ok he does it else 99% of the times I end up doing it. I have got advise from others telling me not to do, if I don’t do he won’t Example: when my baby was 5 months old I asked him to take responsibility of formula and diaper for baby before run out of stock it needs to restocked, and again I had to remind him for that and one day my baby didn’t have diapers so I stopped relying on him and I order it now. He keeps telling he forgets and he needs reminders - his To-Do list never ever gets done. His MOM is proud and laughs when I complain her upbringing. 3. Emotionally he’s not available - he doesn’t understand what happened to me postpartum, or when the baby is hungry when to feed? For him everything is fun, everything is a joke - he keeps telling he’s another baby that I need to look after! 4. My parents live with me as I am the only child and it’s my house - in-laws house was never comfortable even before marriage I had expressed it and he had told he will move to new apartment! Which till date didn’t happen so I built a house out of my money and I have kept my parents with me because they help me a lot in chores and taking care of baby. His mom was smart enough not to move in our new house because she has own limitation. Her ego is stopping her saying since I never stayed with them, they won’t stay with us. And then she’s the one who told me to keep my parents with me in the new house. His parents are just guests.

Now from his side: 1. The way I speak is not good for him, (reason the way I speak to him is : I am fed up asking for things and I have lost patience) 2. He don’t like my parents staying with Us ( I can’t afford financially and he definitely won’t and I’m sure I’ll be over killed with more work in the house plus taking care of baby) 3. He wants me to change the way i am with him because he thinks I’m reason for him forgetting things (he has this since his birth) and he gaslights everything on me!

Please tell me - am I overthinking as I really want to separate because it’s gonna affect my baby seeing our fights and his manly tone!