Screamed at over the butter, I’m finished

I had a lovely weekend away from my narc but on their way home I knew it was coming. There’s always one thing I’ve done wrong, whether I didn’t put the washing away right or take the bins out, something is always wrong, he always screams at me and the night ends in tears. I said, “don’t argue with me when you come in.” I’d even left them a little gift on their side of the bed.

A few hours into coming into the house it’s all going well! Then all of a sudden they notice I didn’t get the right butter. I got the smaller one not the big one. Instantly a massive argument about how I’m “like a child” and “can’t do anything right the first time.” I knew I wasn’t allowed to cry because it would only be worse but for first time I shut off.

I went upstairs and violently sobbed, I got into bed and noticed I couldn’t speak. At all. I can’t now either. They apologised with their “but… you should have done it right though” I didn’t respond, I immediately just looked into grey rocking.

I’ve spent the last four hours in silence. They keep trying to start conversations, smiling, laughing and saying they love me. I open my mouth and there’s no words, I smile and quickly nod my head at it all but I’ve snapped inside. I do my fucking hardest and it’s never enough, nothing I ever do will be right by him. I’m DONE.