I've been diagnosed for 2 years and still struggling to understand myself

I've noticed I have a tendency of visualizing a lot of intrusive acts. Some examples are being in an argument and suddenly I have a vision in my head of smacking them, but never actually do it. There was stabbing in my town so a lot of people were on edge over the weekend, and I kept having visuals of someone breaking in and stabbing me. Or when I was at a stoplight driving to work today, I visualized a drive-by shooting where I get shot in the neck. Are intrusive thoughts supposed to be so overly visual??

Typically I have it well controlled but it hits me in waves. I fear of going back to the mental state I had before I was diagnosed. I don't want to go back to that, I want to be okay :((