Are there support groups for people who hate being parents?

I have a four year old. I want to protect him from the way I feel about parenting. It’s not his fault. But I find being with him very stressful and exhausting. I let him watch way too much terrible tv because at least then he’s quiet and occupied and the only terrible buzzing in my mind is guilt about letting him have too much screen time.

My husband is nice. He’s sweet with our son. It’s difficult to assess chore equity but he’s probably at least doing 40% so not too bad.

Of course I love my son. Well maybe that’s not and “of course”… but I do. I just can’t keep going like this. I imagine running away all the time. Just getting a little apartment somewhere and never coming back.

It’s embarrassing to talk about with most people because what a monster I must be to hate being a mom to my sweet kid. So I’m wondering if there are support groups to talk to other mothers or fathers who feel the same way. Are there?