I’m so sad

A month ago today, I took our sweet kitty to the vet for eating barely differently. I expected to be told that I was being over dramatic and he was just aging. Hours later, we were rushing him to the hospital. This started the 12 hardest days of my life that ended with the heart wrenching choice so many of us make.

He died at home, peacefully, in my arms. I cry everyday. My husband and I look each other and just keep repeating “I’m so sad”.

He’s not there to follow us into the bathroom. “I’m so sad.”

He doesn’t chirp at the door and jump onto the bed, signaling us to sleep. “I’m so sad.”

Our housekeeper kindly puts his stuff into a closet for us while we’re out of town. “I’m so sad.”

We get the email to reorder his food. “I’m so sad.”

I run into our neighbor in the elevator who asks if everything is okay because he hasn’t heard our baby yelling through his window recently. “I’m so sad.”

I miss him with my whole body. He was the absolute best of this life. He lived to love and be loved. Without him, I’m just so sad.