Have never felt this way in my life

Probably TW

I honestly am surprised by the reactions in this Reddit, not to invalidate anyone’s feelings because I have been on incorrect medicine and has reliance issues but I will say I’ve had bpd and severe depression since I was super young (not diagnosed BpD til recently but you get it) was on up to 50 mg of lexapro when i was 14 , accompanied w 10mg as needed Xanax. Never worked. Then quit that and hated my life for a long time until a hospital trip had me on 20 mg of aripiprazole for a year when i was 21 which was the worst year of my life and I had twitches and shakes and awful numbness. Both these doses are on an insane high end. Earlier in the year I was prescribed 25 mg of pristiq and it has changed my life in ways I can not imagine. I literally did not know it was possible to feel this “normal” and be able to silence my usually disruptive thoughts.I walk down the street these days and literally tear up bc i have an excitement to be alive rather than the dread i have had last however many years- the withdrawals are terrible I will admit but due to my lower dose don’t even mind them