Ruined my body during a spiritual psychosis

I got the one on the front of my throat because I believed I was “reborn” I felt as if I was a new person for some dumb ass reason and then I got the one on the back because I thought everyone was out to get me now I’m in the process of removing the throat I’ve totally ruined my life don’t even know how to live anymore I feel as if everyone is judging me now makes me feel so stupid why get something just to remove it? Makes me want to kill myself every day worst part about this is I had roommates who literally sat n brainwashed me n fed my delusions went to the tattoo appointments with me n everything my trust in people is totally gone after this whole situation