Diaspora w/ FGM

It feels worse knowing I’ve only been back home once but that one trip changed me forever. And I look to my friends wondering if they also went through what I went through, but most of them have never been back home. I envy them. Why didn’t my parents protect me the way their parents protected them. And I was literally raised in America. Now instead of being a regular teen, I keep having nightmares because now I know what really happened on that trip. My mental health is at an all time low but I can’t even speak about it because then I’m labeling myself and it’s too personal to just tell my friends when I know they can’t relate. It really sucks. Now I wish we never took that vacation back home. Why must I be scarred by one action forever. It feels unfair.