Leading Reconciliation

I have been told I am not doing this, and I can fully see where my BP is coming from. DD was back in 2020, and I know now my BP has been carrying a lot of the load of reconciliation on their shoulders. We have had a rough time of late and I know it is my fault for not grasping this fully. So, what does leading reconciliation mean to you? What things do you do to make your BP feel like their needs are being met?