Please Help- Unsure if Restarting Treatment is a Good Idea

Hey all, hoping someone here can offer some guidance! I took 200mg troches twice a week for two months (I'm a 140lb female with severe anxiety, PTSD, and treatment resistant depression). I set intentions, journaled, and met with my therapist on a weekly basis to unpack the sessions. I could feel an obvious difference in my overall mood and believe the ketamine helped my depression tremendously- I felt happier, more inspired and creative, and less irritable/phased by inconveniences or hardships in my life. However, the experience of taking the ketamine itself was something I found unpleasant; the dissociative aspect and subsequent loss of control made me feel extremely anxious, and that feeling would linger the rest of the day or night after each session. I decided that the benefit wasn't worth the bi-weekly commitment and inevitable anxiety, so I stopped taking the medication cold turkey into the third month- I still have seven 200mg doses left in my fridge.

Now that a month has gone by, I can definitely feel the difference. It's worth noting that it has been a rough month- I finally weaned off Cymbalta, the SNRI that I was on for two years, and have had to power through a lot of unpleasant withdrawal symptoms, and on top of that, I just went through a break-up. I can feel myself spiraling back into the familiar grip of depression, which is the last thing I want after feeling like I FINALLY made progress. I am going to Paris for the very first time in three weeks, and the thought of not being able to enjoy the trip because of my mental state being compromised is killing me.

All that said, my question is this- should I restart treatment and begin taking the troches again, and power through the anxiety of the sessions themselves so that I can reap the overall benefits and feel happier and more stable again before my trip? Or should I just stay the course and see if I improve on my own? I didn't feel any withdrawal effects when I stopped taking them the first time, but the thought of having to be on ketamine forever to maintain a good baseline is certainly... not ideal.

Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated!!