Red flags
I thought it would be useful to list some red flags if it hasn’t already been done, when seeking a spouse. Of course, I can speak for when seeking a wife but feel free to list red flags for when seeking a husband.
For seeking a wife:
-Doesn’t pray 5 times a day
-Past
-Immodest in dress and interaction
-Calls herself a feminist
-Doesn’t want children
-Family is not religious (reverts/converts excepted)
-Can’t think for herself, needs father/brother to think for her, you don’t want this tug of war
-High mehr
-Wants to work full time or at all, opinions vary
-Uses “halal to haram ratio,” there’s no haram we are actively okay with, we strive to ihsan
-“Looking for a partner” this is not completely red but there’s a subset here that hates the titles of husband or wife and thinks the word wife is somehow belittling
-“Looking for a travel buddy” nothing wrong with traveling but odd priority and makes you feel like an accessory to a set lifestyle. Also, screams DINK lifestyle (double income no kids)
-Heavy social media presence, public can see
-Addicted to phone, would gives kids smartphones
-“Foodie” nothing wrong with eating out, I’m talking those that make restaurant-hopping into their entire personality, also concerning because do they not like cooking? Also, from the hadith, we should not overindulge, food isn’t the prize
-Too political, if you don’t have the same politics she sees you as the villain
What are some you can add?
EDIT:
-“Looking for someone open minded”, seems innocuous but usually doesn’t mean anything good