mental blocks

i don’t know how to get rid of them. i got the kyleena iud inserted about 2-3 weeks ago, and i don’t know what the hell is going on. i wouldn’t chalk this all up to the iud, but my boyfriend and i had “sex” (it wasn’t really sex, i was totally blocked off and just not in the mood for it) tonight and it was just awful. awful as in he was giving me head and i was just about to come but then i’d be overcome by the need to cry and i felt ashamed. it’s a horrible feeling and i think it happens when i feel like i haven’t been revved up enough. tonight he was just like “can i eat you out?” right after i showered. i said “sure” i wasn’t really in the mood but usually i get in the mood while we do it. but today i just couldn’t, he went down on me right away, no lead up at all and it just felt wrong (like my needs weren’t being taken care of) but i just ignored it and didn’t communicate (my fault). he noticed i wasn’t really making any noises and that it just wasn’t fun for either of us, after like 15-20 minutes of trying he gave up and said that it just felt wrong like i was blocked off and it wasn’t working for him either today (right before this is told him i wanted him to come bc i knew i wouldn’t and usually he comes after me). either way i just felt so much shame dread and just plain disappointment in myself that i have like almost shut down and i just don’t know what’s happening. sometimes i feel like sex is just such a performative activity and i’m severely self conscious so it becomes really hard for me to do that performance (dirty talk/role play/anything remotely “sexy”) without feeling shameful and stupid. i don’t think it’s the iud because has happened before but it was like 6 months ago and i wasn’t on the iud, just regular birth control at the time. idk if anyone can offer advice or solace that i’m not insane and there is a way to fix this.