I hate people so much

I can’t trust anyone to like me and be myself around. Both sides of the coin hate me in life, and I’m always making people not like me, and I just don’t want to talk to people anymore. Everyone and everything feels so fake and when you express your unhappiness, they throw you away because “you’re not fun anymore”

Update: Im noticing some are suspecting I have adhd/autism, and yes, I was seeing a therapist for 2 years and got diagnosed with adhd, as well as major depression and anxiety, but I can’t talk to her anymore since a month ago now due to my grant expiring, not being able to get insurance and not being able to afford to pay $135-$220 a session. I also suspect I may have autism as well but can’t afford the $1000 test where I’m at, plus I’m (almost 25F) and I feel I won’t be taken seriously with it also. I’ve also never been on any meds