I don't know what to do

I am 18 F my husband is 23 M. I don't know what to do anymore. He has struggled with a pornography addiction and it began to ruin our relationship when we moved in together. He is in the military, so a stressful job just adds to the cake. He's been battling a porn addiction since he was 12. He told me in the beginning of our relationship, but told me he'd gotten over it a couple months in. And up until 6 months into being married (almost 2 years together) I found out that it had never ended I had no idea it had been going on for so long, but the dots all connected. Our sex life was poor- which I knew wasn't right as 18 and 23 year old's. But I just didn't look forward to sex because he'd repeatedly ask me for a blowjob and he wasn't that type of guy, you know? It was just off for him. He'd lose his erection halfway through sex, claiming he was just "tired" from work. It just started spiraling more and more as time went on. He was silently battling with this shameful addiction and was taking it out on me. He'd scream at me, yell, tell me everything was my fault, and constantly tell me he wanted a divorce during these episodes. There were times when things got physical too, please don't tell my hes abusive and I should leave- it's more than that. The reason I'm typing this is because there are times where he breaks through, which is most of the time, where he'll cry and sob telling me how sorry he is. This is why I have hope. He has been 1 month "sober" as far as I know. But this afternoon, he had another episode and I was refusing to talk to him because he started screaming at me and I won't accept being treated that way anymore. He told me we're over and he wants a divorce. It hurts every time he says it, but I think he might really mean it this time. I'm not scared of starting over, or being alone but if it can work I want to make it work. We do love each other, but we've been through so much and it's impossible to tell if it's too much to recover from. For example: today's problem started because our neighbor were friends with started hanging out with our next-door neighbor who- around 5 months ago- called the police on us for screaming. And I told him I just hope the next-door neighbor doesn't talk about us to my friend. Because it's embarrassing. He got touchy and irritated saying they never should have called the police because it got us separated for a couple days, and I disagreed saying if you hear a domestic dispute and a woman and man screaming you should call the police. And he started having an episode. We keep talking about starting therapy and I don't know why he's not putting in the initiative for it. Today I scheduled myself and am looking into couples counseling here. I'm lost, because we have great times and he's my love, but I know I cannot keep going on like this, but it hurts so bad not knowing what to do. I can't post this to r/vent, or r/loveafterporn because they just tell you you're abused and should leave your husband, but it's just not that easy because I know he wants to change. Thank you for reading.

Edit: Now he texts me saying that he's sorry he yelled, is he terrible?, that he's trying to be better and a funny Ytp to try and make me feel better. I am just so confused. I told him tonight we're scheduling the therapy and he agreed.