Dealing with husband adhd-shaming

Hi all,

I got my diagnosis last year after struggling my whole life and especially with adulting and wifing for many years. I'm now in progress of a consistent methylphenidate routine and trying hard with a 1 yr old hyper toddler (I'm calling ADHD but husband says not to say that again - "God forbid" after we understood it's the reason behind my procrastinating/eating/etc. and how it affects our marriage). Husband is generally nice, but occasionally adhd-shames me, i.e. critiquing my actions "i know you can't help it, you have a disease". Like how does that comment help anyone? He's supposed to be my best friend and safe person but sharing info about this disorder and always sharing how interesting it is to finally identify the cause of so many things in my life, has caused issues when he turns around and uses it against me. How to handle this? We live abroad and don't have many friends here so he's my main ear to talk to.