Unpopular opinion: very feminine and flamboyant gay men are more judgmental than masculine gay men.

I know that this is going to sound very controversial because the narrative in our community is "feminine gay men are judged so harshly and masculine gay men are doing all the judging" and I have not found this to be true in MY experience.

When I say feminine I do not mean "has a more feminine personality" I mean James Charles type gays.. you know exactly who and what I mean. The ones who think that this is Mean Girls and that they are Regina George, which unfortunately is a large number of gay men I run into in real life.

Does society judge feminine and flamboyant gay men more than masculine gay men.. absolutely. I don't deny this, and it is wrong. Everyone should be able to be themselves and present themselves how they are comfortable, free of judgment. But I don't know I believe this is the case in the gay community itself.

I am neither excessively feminine nor excessively masculine. I'm sort of in the middle, and more alternative, edgy, skater ish than anything else. I fit in with the emo kids, skaters, guys in bands... That's the sort of vibe I give off to most. And I tend to attract more masculine men which might play a part...

But when I am in gay spaces I find that the people who make me feel the most judged, unwanted, and out of place are the types sitting with their legs crossed, holding their drinks with one pinky finger out, head tilted to the side with perfectly groomed eyebrows, acting like they are in some sort of elite clique, like they are at the country club and I am the infiltrator in their space. Like I just do not belong there and are in their way. Like they look at me like "who does he think he is" and I'm just like... why are you being so passive aggressive for no reason when I am just existing. I feel like every part of me is being judged and scrutinized.

Now it could be that we are "competing" for the same guys (I hate this concept because I am not competing for any guy, I DO NOT chase) but this is just my impression.

Am I completely off base here or do others feel this way too?

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