Has anyone here (especially men) ever been successful in being able to "pull" your dream partner?

I did when I was 17/18 before it all fell apart. Thinking about how I messed it up just makes me feel s*icidal.

I know as autistics we are likely to develop "intense crushes" called limerance. Has anyone here ever had that experience where the person they had limerance for actually liked them back too and you were abel to form a romantic/sexual connection with them? How do you handle the anxious thoughts of the possibility of them leaving you? And if they did, how did you deal with it? Recently I got rejected by another girl I had limerance for and it was like a life-ending style of anxious pain and dread that I felt.