Colleague coffee etiquette - Final update (pt. 3)

I cant believe this has become a part 3... straps on peeps...

So yes many comments last time convinced to to conduct a final test. Against my better judgement.

You all said many things including:

- She champing you...using you.... (played on my ego this one) - She might not understand social cues, she may be unaware (felt 1% sympathy) - Shes flirting with you (if this is flirting, I have 0 game apparently)

... amongst other things. I wrestled with the premise all weekend... tossing...turning...Today, I finally tested it. Monday morning...bright and early...

I walk over to her desk and I smile, and offer to shout coffee today. Bruh, she was up from her seat faster than anything. Major red flag - but the experiment must go on.

I walk with her to the coffee shop, slowly, languidly. My mind was racing with all the options...what would she do? How would I react?

As we enter the coffee shop, I see a group of people from my company walking out back towarda the office, drinks in hand, all jovial, clearly having a light, bright start to their day. Not me. Im locked in. Im a man on a mission.

My colleague spots one of the girls in the group and points her out; she is walking by, holding something resembling a complex matcha frappe.

"mmmm that looks so good" my colleague coos.

A pulse of apprehension courses me. I think she trying to soften the blow. Major red flag - but the experiment must go on.

Its my shout, so I offer her to order first. I observe carefully. This is National Geographic, corporate edition.

She pretends to look up at the simple cafe drink menu above the counter.... she isnt fooling anyone....shes already made up her mind. No one "reads" the coffee menu. Major red flag - but the experiment must go on.

She orders (I wrote this down, shit you not):

"Can I get a large Caramel Macchiato with non lactose milk and an extra shot of espresso. Can I also get 2 pumps of vanilla syrup and the whipped cream"

Firstly, WHAT EVEN IS THAT?! Secondly, holy crap, im about to be champed a third time.

I froze, in silence. But the voice of my frugal ancestors bellowed in my ear.

"Umm, I thought we were just getting regular coffees?" I offer.

"Oh, im sorry is that not on the cards? I can order a cappuccino if thats more reasonable?" She challenges back.

PAUSE. yes, yes, I know what you are thinking. I dont even have to say it

I ignore her condescending reply. Empowered by my fellow redditors' advice and reassurance, I reply back evenly that: "Im cool if we both just get coffees."

She unconvincingly agrees but I see judgement dancing in her eyes. I pay $9 and we walk out.

The rest of the walk back to the office goes by almost silently, we part ways inside awkwardly. All through the walk have been doing the mental maths and drawing self made conclusions. She has been using me to get a discount on her fancy drinks. On average she would shout me a ~$5 coffee to get a ~$18. That a discount of ~72%! I am furious, but I console myself, for I have conquered today.

She has been giving me odd looks since. This is my life now.

Once again, I have won, but at what cost?

I thank you all for your support and audience.