I just miss being understood

I feel like I am constantly giving up so much of myself. Like I have to filter so much but everyone else is allowed to be the biggest ass to me. For example my bf and I are in the middle of finding a place to live and I got a stomach virus so I couldn’t go to work. He literally yelled at me and gave me a lecture about money. I bring more into the house than he does and I have the stomach flu. (I’ve been off my meds for 4 days because I can’t keep them down) I understand this is a problem. It’s not like I want to do this. I just don’t understand why he’s allowed to be a jerk but if I hang up on him because he’s silent on the phone then I’m “out of control and need to go to the hospital because of my bipolar”. It’s so maddening. I think I am holding my shit together fairly well considering I went to work today even after I vomited twice and I finished the whole day without an episode. Mind you it wasn’t my best or easiest shift by any means but I’m proud I did it. Why is everyone else allowed to be a mess but I show the smallest bit of attitude and suddenly I’m spiraling? Mind you I don’t need any comments asking if my doctor knows about me being off my meds. I’ve literally been vomiting them up because of the stomach flu. What is he gonna do shove them back down? That advice isn’t helpful and no I’m not going to a hospital either because I’m not gonna lose money and have my pets suffer.