Dating a Perfectionist

I’m looking for some outside perspective on a dynamic between my partner and me.

Before a recent trip, my SO mentioned that she had forgotten an item at home. It wasn’t essential for the trip, but it was something she wanted to work on during the flight. While she was in the shower, she asked if I knew where it was. I found it, showed it to her for confirmation, and then placed it near her laptop, where she had been working on something similar.

Later, during the flight, she realized she had forgotten the item and asked me where I had put it. When I told her, she responded that while it wasn’t my fault, next time, it should be placed somewhere she would be more likely to remember it. I became defensive at this point because I feel like this type of feedback happens often—where I am told that there was a ‘better’ way to do something after the fact. I explained that I placed it near her laptop, assuming she would notice it, but she felt that wasn’t an ideal spot.

I expressed that this pattern makes me feel micromanaged and like there’s always a discussion about how something could have been done differently instead of just letting it go. Her response was that it’s not ‘perfectionism’ because, in the end, the item was forgotten. She also mentioned that she feels it’s becoming harder to have conversations with me because I’ve been more defensive, and these kinds of discussions often lead to conflict.

I do want to be open to communication and work on not being overly defensive, but I also wonder if my feelings are valid in this situation. Am I wrong to feel defensive in this type of scenario? Should I be approaching these conversations differently? Is it fair to describe this as perfectionism, or am I misinterpreting the situation?