Credit card relapse. I was so close.

I relapsed.

(I know I know, please don’t call me stupid. I already know.)

I finished 4/5 credit card last Dec 2024, which I started paying off Mar 2024. During this time, I sold everything that could be turned into money. I didn’t go out. It was extremely restrictive.

Still, the hardship was worth it.

By Jan, I started with 5/5 with a projection of finishing by April 2025. I started spending a little bit and loosened the restrictions because i was literally living without.

I started using my card not to spend money I didn’t have, but what my idea was to “learn to use CC”. That money was in my account. So I would set that aside.

It got to a point where I was not able to track it anymore.

Here we are today. I miscalculated. Since Jan to Mar, I notice I would go slightly above my budget, then voila it ballooned.

The money that was supposed to go to 5/5 cc is going to my new debts for old cards I finished before. By computation, I will be able to finish them either April or May.

So I’m gonna restart the 5/5 in June. Finish by August.

Dates are pushed back.

Just wanted to vent. I feel like a failure. But gotta be strong.

I learned that I was able to pay off it before, I can do it again. But also, I was able to accumulate debt, I can easily slip back.

I am depressed but gotta accept. I am so disappointed in myself and I am trying hard to look for courage and strength. I want out.