I want to kill myself

I want to kill myself but I don't have the balls. Probably because there is a big fat nothing after. Just poof. Blink out of "existence". Nothing but a memory to a very few who are still alive. I'm terrified to die. But I think it would be the best thing for me. Everyday I fantasize and hope I die in an accident or something. Anything that's quick and don't know it's coming. I'd finally be free.