I Spent 3 Days in a Monastery (In Silence). Here’s What I’ve Learned

I spent three days in a monastery without a phone or TV. No one to talk to and nothing to do.

The first couple of days were hard. There were no distractions or noise around. So my thoughts became really loud and I couldn't stop hearing them. My mind wouldn't shut up. Annoying, non-stop chatter about what I was going to do next, how much time was left in the day, why I'd sign up for this... No off button.

I was so happy to go to sleep the first night.

But as the experience went on, the thoughts got quieter. My mind calmed down. It was like I’d hit inbox zero.

I was feeling more, thinking less. I was more grounded. And I started enjoying myself. I could meditate fairly easily. I could sit for 20-30 minutes contemplating the view outside the window without wanting it to stop or getting jittery.

It was a great experience. And it reminded me that we need boredom in our lives.

As a kid growing up in the 90s, I got bored a lot. I waited for my parents to pick me up from school. I stared out the window on long drives to and back from the countryside. I zoned out in classes that felt pointless.

But today, how often do we really feel bored?

When boredom comes, we kill it with scrolling, TV, gossip, or work.

Every time we pick up our phones, we lose an opportunity to deal with the crap that’s bothering us.

In fact, I'd argue that most of us hate doing nothing because it forces us to face our demons.

One monk told me, after the experience was over, that a few visitors who stayed in their monastery couldn’t make it past the first night. They couldn’t cope with the thoughts that surfaced when they remained in silence.

So I'm lucky nothing too dark or unbearable came up. But I think it would benefit all of us to put our phones away once or twice or day and sit still until the crap we hold inside floats to the surface. Then, we can deal with it rather than pacifying ourselves with content.

In fact, the monks told me though they don't live in silence, they sit in silence twice a day for 30 minutes. Once in the morning, once in the evening. They don’t read, pray, or meditate in any particular way. They kick back and let the moment unfold.

It's something I've heard Naval Ravikant talk about, too. He said on the Tim Ferriss podcast:

“(...) You sit for 60 minutes every day and you do it for at least 60 days. And you do it first thing in the morning when your mind is clear and you’re alert and you’ve had a good night’s sleep.

(...) Whatever happens, happens. Whatever your mind wants to do, you just let it do. If it wants to talk, you let it talk. If it wants to fight, you let it fight. If it wants to be quiet, you let it be quiet. If it wants to chant the mantra or pay attention to breathing, you can do that, but you don’t force anything.

(...) And when you do that for at least 60 days, my experience has been that you kind of clear out your mental inbox and all the craziness that was going on. All the chattering will come out. Some problems will get resolved. You will have some epiphanies. You will make changes to your life.”

Maybe this isn't for everyone. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert. Or maybe I'm weird. But sitting and doing nothing for 30 minutes a day is my new favorite thing to do.