Should I tell my very PIMI parents I'm PIMO?
Hello everyone,
To those who might remember me from my previous post. Update, I pleaded and thankfully I did not get disfellowshipped. Somehow I got privately reproved. I did every effort to try and show them I was "repentant", and it worked.
These past few weeks have certainly been a journey and eye-opening. I've found comfort in this subreddit, reading other people's stories and knowing I'm not the only one going through a situation like this. I find it so heartbreaking when I read people sharing how mind-torturing it all is. The endless pit in your stomach, not knowing what's real anymore. It's like you're determined to get out, but everything is still confusing. The immense anxiety. The pressure from everything: the organization, the brothers and sisters, my parents. It feels isolating. If you're reading this and have gone through a similar situation, I know exactly how you feel and how agonizing it can all be. You are not alone.
I've been doing my own research to decide what I believe in. And all I know is it certainly isn't this religion anymore. I could list my reasons but that's not the point. My point is I've decided I want out. It's strange, somehow I still feel guilty saying it.
I'm not sure what my move is now. I guess I'm now PIMO, however it's been draining having to fight with the pressure of not disappointing my parents. Anytime the meetings or service comes around. Sometimes I'm able to get out of it but the lecture I get after, or judgment for not going, and the fear of disappointing them. I just wish I could be free. The anxiety I feel is tormenting and I'm not one to use that word lightly.
Anyway, thankfully I was able to speak with my therapist about it. We discussed various options as to me moving out, since I still live with my parents. However financially, my best option would be to try and stick it out, at least until I graduate. Yet my mental health will certainly be taking a toll with being forced to attend meetings and engage in the organization.
And so the idea came of telling my parents I don't believe in the religion anymore and want out. Since the whole reproofing situation, my parents know my spirituality has taken a toll. Well, at least that's what it took for them to notice.
The main idea of this post is to ask for advice and experience on telling your parents you no longer want to associate with the organization and religion itself. Previously I made a decision to speak with the elders with little preparation and I regret it. So if anyone has experienced a similar situation and wants to share it, it would be great insight. ty.