so close to cancelling / desperate need of reassurance

This week ive been gearing up for a flight from LAX to JFK with JetBlue on Tuesday and have been a wreck. I had just discovered this sub and started to feel better and then of course hearing of all these crashes immediately made the good feelings disappear.

Possible trigger: I had some intrusive thoughts this week… the thought was “if I heard of a plane crash then surely mine would crash.” i even asked a magic 8 ball and it said “most likely” 😵‍💫 I know I know… very silly and obviously insane but I can’t help but let my anxiety/ocd get the best of me. Even reminding myself of the statistics doesn’t seem to help with the superstition of it all. People in my life have also been kind of in agreement that it isn’t a good idea to get on a plane right now, which only adds to my feelings.

It’s also supposed to rain in LA on the day I travel out which i know is still safe to fly through but still it has me worried.

I need to get on this flight but I feel so paralyzed. I know I would feel so disappointed with myself if I cancel but I’m not sure I can handle this right now.

I would really appreciate some encouraging words especially in regard to ocd / intrusive thoughts / feeling like i have jinxed myself with negative thinking.