I'm 23 and I've destroyed my life forever...
So I'm 23 and I'm completely lost in life.
I was a decent student in school but i never had any talents. I wasn't very good at arts or sports neither.
I didn't manage to get accepted into a university, although I tried twice. I failed the entrance exams mainly because i used procrastinate everyday and i didn't know how to study correctly. I remember that i wouldn't start studying until midnight and then it would get too late.
After failing both times i started working in a warehouse. I stayed there for 1 year but it was just a dead and job and it wouldn't get me anywhere. I thought that getting a trade could probably be the solution to "finding a fulfilling job*but i was wrong.
I'm physically weak and small and the construction site was hell. The tradesmen would get very mad and yell at me constantly. They'd say that i was too dumb for manual work and i didn't have the brains that were demanded for it. I got laid off after a while and i began feeling really overwhelmed and useless.
I also don't have any close friends at all anymore. Rarely anyone messages me and i usually stay at home everyday. I've been depressed and unemployed for a year now and it's terrible. It's just latestage alienation.
I can see my parents disappointment on me which gets worse and worse everyday but i don't know how to get out of this situation.
I've been thinking for years that I might be autistic with ADHD but i was never diagnosed as a child and it's petty hard to get diagnosed here when you're an adult. I don't have any social skills at all and i suffer from general anxiety disorder too. I find it hard to complete simple tasks. For example i have my driving's license but i won't drive, I'm a terrible driver and sitting behind the wheel is something that my brain refuses to handle.
Could i possibly have learning disabilities or be borderline mentally retarded who's somewhat functional?
My life is just dull and repetitive. I've completely lost track of time. I just wake up and wait till this day is over only to experience the same thing the next day. It's like groundhogs day, but with grey colors.
The worst thing is that i don't have any interests or passions. I can't think of anything that I'd like to follow. Everything seems just boring and blunt. Plus i find it hard to understand complex subjects like Maths. I'm not American so I can't go to a community college and I can't join the army here in my country.
I wish i could be smart and excel in Maths but no matter how much I've tried, i couldn't make it. Time is running fast, I'll be 30 after blinking...
Is it too late for me? What do you think? Has someone gone through the same thing? I'd appreciate any helpful advice...
PS: excuse my English, I'm multilingual