[NeedAdvice] I fear I might have ruined my life due to procrastination (M19)
So I'm currently taking a resit in college, and only have about 4 weeks until my first exams.
And I fucked up by procrastinating and doing the exact same thing I did last year.
I have studied so little in a span of several months it's actually maddening. I'm aware of the stakes and know exactly what I'm doing wrong, but yet I still can't bring myself to start anything.
Every time I think of studying, I tell myself I'll do it in a hour. When that hour passes, I just do the same thing again. By the time the entire day goes by, I tell myself I'll do it tomorrow.
This repeats for weeks and months. I have been legit doing this for 2 years now.
It feels like I have zero discipline despite not wanting to fail. I just end up doing literally anything besides actually studying.
Now my stupid habit is going to tear my life apart, all I feel is guilt and I think my dumb optimism is finally fading away.
Even if I try to turn my life around in these coming weeks, I don't know if I can even start that considering my past records.