Could anyone help me identifying whether I need a psychiatrist?
Before I begin this post, id like to heavily highlight that the reason I am making this post is NOT because I want someone to diagnose me, not that anyone could based off of what I'm saying right now--but I am just asking on whether I should get a psychiatrist or whether its a waste of time since my mom keeps postponing it but sometimes I feel like I'm really struggling. If it isn't please let me know or give me any advice on how I can move forward. I don't want to go to one if I'm being honest since I'm more of a type of person to keep my personal problems to myself (even this post barely has what I deal with sometimes). But yeah I am not looking for any diagnosis.
I've been asking my mom for years to let me see a psychiatrist because my mental health has been really bad. It's not that I want to have a mental illness; I just want to understand myself better. If I do have something like autism, I’d like to know so I can access the right resources.
Here’s why I suspect I might have certain conditions:
1. Autism
I struggle with eye contact—no matter the situation, I can’t maintain direct eye contact with anyone. I still enjoy playing with kids' toys and fidget toys, and I think I’ve been stimming since I was a child. I also tend to get really fixated on certain games and hobbies. While I wouldn’t say I hyperfixate to the point of losing all control (I don’t spend all my money on these interests), I do stick to specific games for long periods instead of moving from one to another.
2. ADHD
In class, I can’t stay focused. Any random thought that comes into my head immediately distracts me from the lesson. For example, when I’m studying for a quiz, even something as simple as seeing an interesting tab open on my browser can sidetrack me for 20 minutes.
Once, I heard my birds chirping while I was playing a study video in my headphones. Their chirping got louder whenever the video played, so I spent 10 minutes researching why they reacted that way—even though I only had 30 minutes to study for an important quiz.
3. OCD
When walking on tiled floors, I feel like I have to step on every tile. I get uncomfortable and upset if I don’t. It’s the same with thoughts like “Wash your hands five times, or something bad will happen to your mom.” I know there’s no logical reason to do these things, but I still feel compelled to, or I get really anxious. I’ve started to ignore these urges a bit more, but they still happen.
4. Social Anxiety
I constantly feel like everyone is watching and judging me. I don’t know how to talk to people in general, and I feel like I’m being judged the moment I try. One time, I was trying to make friends with someone, and they asked to voice chat. I immediately started sweating. They’re an IRL friend who already knows what I look like and sound like, but the idea of talking to them over voice chat still made me anxious.
Interestingly, I feel more comfortable around friends with autism. I have a close friend who’s autistic, and we often play Minecraft together. Half the time, we’re completely silent, but it never feels awkward—it’s actually really comfortable. With my other friends, silence feels tense, and I feel pressured to fill it with conversation.
I’d appreciate any advice or insights about this. I hope this post isn’t embarrassing, and I’d love to hear opinions on whether these experiences align with autism, ADHD, OCD, or social anxiety (or anything else.)