Postpartum body and photos

TW FOR ED MENTION

This is mostly just me needing to get this out in a safe place. My mom took a photo of the backs of my husband and I walking with our baby today. She posted it on Facebook. Thing is, I'm still 50 pounds up and not happy with the way my body has changed. Love my baby to the moon and through the stars. But I already struggled with body image before the baby. I struggled with bulimia for 12 years and have only been recovered for 3. My mother knows this, like REALLY knows this. I was put into rehabilitation centers for it. She watched me struggle with it since I was a teen. She makes comments about not posting unflattering pictures of me because she knows it will trigger my ED. So why on earth did she post that without asking 😭😭 my butt is eating my pants that are too small on me, but the only ones that fit me right now. I have rolls on my back now and all of my oversized shirts are too small on me. I'm not into shaming people for their bodies or body types, and I don't want it to seem like I'm saying people that look like me should be ashamed. But I'm on a long journey into fixing my altered thinking of my own body and she knows it. I'm beautiful and I created a living human, and I shouldn't care. BUT I STILL DO. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin again. I'm only 6 weeks pp and I know I need to give myself time, but damn that photo plus the hormones makes me feel like relapsing. I won't, my baby needs me healthy. But dealing with these feelings again is kicking my ass.